If you’re reading this, you are either a beginner TTC’er or you’re back to square one because nothing is working.
My husband and I struggled through the ups and downs of trying to conceive for nearly 2 years. I can tell you first hand- IT. IS. ROUGH.
Today, I am giving you the tricks of the trade. But, I also want to explain why we will never try to conceive again.
Let’s make a baby! Well… you can with these tips.
Secrets For TTC & Why I Won’t Do It Again
I have battled in prayer over the content of this post.
I didn’t want to post helpful tips on trying to conceive when we have decided that we don’t want to try to conceive again. (More on that later)
But, my friends, you deserve information and for questions to be answered. I am here (blogging that is) to tell you what I have learned and my convictions. That doesn’t stop with this post!
Nonetheless, it is your job to pray about what you have learned and make a decision for your family.
So… here we go!
Trying to Conceive & Trusting God
Our family will never try to conceive again.
Let me take you on our TTC journey to give you insight into why.
I got baby fever BAD after I had a “pregnancy scare” early in our marriage. We had originally planned to wait a full year before starting to have kids but… no matter what I did, I couldn’t shake the desire for a baby.
I wanted a baby NOW!
Soon enough, we were both on board and started trying to conceive. I figured since I was young that I would get pregnant really fast. Wrong.
6 months later, I
started getting was frustrated. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I get pregnant? God, what are you doing?
Oh, how easily we get mad at God when he doesn’t comply with our plans.
Fast forward a year and I was going through counseling because of the deeply rooted obsession I had with having a baby. I was having anxiety attacks, severe mood swings and was depressed.
Counseling helped me to release some of the overwhelming emotions that I had. I started to learn coping mechanisms to help me when we would have yet another failed month of TTC.
…. Wait, wait. Slow down. What? Coping mechanisms? Anxiety attacks?
Yes! Emotional lows become the reality for many women that are trying to conceive- including me.
Each passing month felt like another failure. Another time that I had convinced myself that I had all the signs to be pregnant, then wasn’t. My heart cried out to God, asking why I wasn’t good enough to be a mother.
I questioned God in His plan for our life. Why won’t You just give us a child? You know my desires. Lord, how many times do I have to ask?
Looking back, it is sickening to me how blind I was to the deception that a baby would fix fundamental trust issues in God’s plan for me!
That is why we will never try to conceive again.
After I got pregnant, I had a lot of heart work to do. I was so wound up in bitterness that I couldn’t freely thank God for his gift to us. Shamefully, I admit, I was mad at God for making us wait for a baby.
It’s become obviously clear to me that I am not very good at doing God’s job. Ha! Why did I ever think I should take the lead in the first place?
After much prayer and reading in God’s word, we have come to the decision to allow God to be God– even in our family planning. That looks silly when it is written out so plainly, but the reality is that in life we pick and choose what we allow God to be in charge of.
We pray over what job to take, which house to buy and who we should marry… but when it comes to our fertility, we get a little handsy. Both in prevention and in conception, let us open our hands, and wombs, to God’s control.
Why is it that story after story of TTC’ers sounds similar to mine? “We tried to conceive for many months (or years) then when we let go of control, we got pregnant.” (Scroll down for Abby’s story)
Because God will wait until you’re ready to watch Him work miraculously. He wants us to have the blessing of receiving a gift from Him instead of us striving for what we want from Him. He is a God who loves to give us good gifts. (Psalm 127:3)
Before we jump into the TTC tips, I urge you to study the word of God about this topic. Pray about it! Ask God to show you what His plan is for your family’s reproductive planning.
How To Get Started Trying To Conceive Naturally
Links below are affiliate links, which means when you purchase, I will receive a small commission. (Don’t worry, you don’t pay any extra.)
Things To Buy
Taking Charge of Your Fertility, by Toni Weschler
- This book is basically the textbook of fertility. You can learn everything you need to know about charting fertility to avoid pregnancy or achieve pregnancy.
Basal Body Thermometer (or a TempDrop, if you are up at night)
- The first thing you will want to do is start taking your basal body temperature to chart your cycle. This will help you establish the pattern of your cycle and pinpoint when you’re ovulating.
- Basic basal body thermometers work great if you’re getting consistent sleep and wake up at the same time every day. (You can find these at Walmart, too.)
- TempDrop is an amazing tool for women who have irregular sleep. AKA night-shift workers and moms that are up with little kiddos. Or really, anyone who doesn’t want the hassle of daily scheduled temping.
- With TempDrop, you just put the band on and easily get your temp for that day. Sleep in if you want- TempDrop has your back! (More info about TempDrop)
Fertility Awareness Method of Birth Control Facebook group
- Get all of your questions answered and receive 1:1 help with your charts. Community is a BIG aspect of TTC. You are not alone in this! Join a group and get the support you need.
- Kindara is a must-have fertility tracking app. This top-rated app has great functionality and has a community board that is really helpful as well!
Ovulation test strips (AKA ovulation predictor kits or OPKs)
- You will be needing a LOT of these! Get them cheaper on Amazon.
- Use OPKs along with charting to determine exactly when you’re ovulating to optimize for conception.
Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (Buy it on Amazon or from MountainRoseHerbs.com)
- I wrote about Red Raspberry Leaf Tea in my post about natural birth, so you may be wondering why it is in this post as well.
- RRLT tones the uterus and regulates menstrual cycles. It also optimizes women’s reproductive health as a whole.
- After regular consumption of RRLT, your periods will become more regular and more effective. So, not as many cramps and better cycles overall.
- This article goes in depth into how Red Raspberry Leaf Tea works and is really informative- read it now!
- Other lubricants are not fertility-friendly like this one. PreSeed mimics good quality fertile mucus to ensure semen can travel all the way to the egg. (Now that’s some sciencey goodness for ya!)
- Expensive- but the success stories are amazing!
- One bad thing is that it isn’t natural and contains potentially toxic ingredients.
- If you have good quality fertile mucus, you do not need PreSeed. Save your money- God has given you the good stuff, use it!
Essential Oils For Trying To Conceive
- Clary Sage
- Progessence Plus Serum (Young Living)
- This blend has been known to improve women’s reproductive health and increase fertility.
- Here is one success story with the use of Progessence Plus.
Essential Oils to Support Emotions During Trying To Conceive Journey
- Yet, another reason to use Clary Sage. It works as a natural anti-depressant.
- This very affordable oil (you can read here which companies I trust) has been shown to help relieve depression, anxiety, and stress when being used.
- Citrus oils are very uplifting and energizing. My favorite combination is lemon, Stress Away (Young Living blend) and grapefruit.
Joy Young Living (YL) blend
- Joy is one of my absolute favorite oils. I wear Joy as perfume most days because of its heavenly, happy scent.
Valor YL blend
- Valor gives feelings of courage and a can-do spirit.
Stress Away YL blend
- The name gives it away- this oil helps the stress to go away! This is my second favorite oil for mood. Stress Away has a yummy vanilla smell but is light and citrusy as well.
Read about my favorite oils: how to use them and where to buy them in my post, 6 Must Have Essential Oils for Beginners
Tips For Success Trying to Conceive (Things to Do)
- Have timed sex every other day based on predicted ovulation day. While having daily sex might lower sperm count, spacing it out too far will increase your chance of missing your small ovulation window. (See image)
- Start charting! As you already read, charting will become an integral part of your success trying to conceive. Scroll back up to read what you need to get started.
- Stay healthy! Enjoy exercise, eat well and focus on getting your health into tip-top shape.
- Enjoy your husband. Try to keep the “try” out of trying to conceive. (That’s a lot of trying. Ha!) This journey can make sex a chore. So, don’t let it!
- Spice things up and surprise each other with new things. Enjoy that hot marital sex- hey, you’re the ones that got this family started. Celebrate your marriage!
Abby’s TTC Journey- From Worry to Faith-Filled Joy
One of my dear friends kindly sent in her story. She shares what God has done in her heart during her season of waiting for a baby.
My journey started after my 28th birthday. My husband and I had been married for several years and decided we finally reached a relatively comfortable place in our lives to start a family of our own. Growing up in a house full of estrogen (one of 4 girls), I never imagined I’d have any trouble trying to conceive. I was about to get a huge lesson in patience, discipline, and trusting God.
I started down a road that would eventually lead us to various conception books and blogs, pregnancy apps, basal body thermometers, prenatal vitamins, countless ovulation strips and pregnancy tests, doctors’ visits, and worries. After almost a year of trying to control every variable, I decided to give up. Truthfully, it was liberating! I took time off from logging my every move and every symptom. Finally, I decided to give it to God. I felt a lot of shame in not doing this sooner.
I am a devoted Christian woman. Active in my church and prayer life- but I allowed the world to influence me into thinking conception was up to me.
Before prayerfully lifting my cares and worries to God, I went to a dark place in my life. I’m a naturally positive person and it takes a big shake to break my spirit- but this experience was breaking me. My first dark thoughts came from deeply rooted insecurities. I would think to myself, I’m not healthy enough. There must be something wrong with my body. Or, I’m not physically equipped for pregnancy.
I then allowed my mind to have further doubts. I’m not meant to be a mother. I’m not deserving enough. The mistakes from my past are catching up with me. I even thought that maybe God simply didn’t care.
It wasn’t until I started to hear the struggles of other women in my life, not just reading online, that I started to consider giving up control.
God placed these women in my life on purpose. A family friend at church sharing her story with me, a coworker, and a neighbor. All making me feel like I wasn’t in this alone.
There are many women, average everyday women, dealing with the same struggles that I was hiding for so long! My husband and I started a new daily devotion together and returned to a lifestyle of consistent, meaningful prayers. We leaned on God for another year, finding joy in life together, just the two of us, all over again.
As I sit here writing this, with tears filling my eyes, I’m overjoyed. We’re expecting a little girl this coming summer and couldn’t be happier. I have more gratitude and appreciation now for the miracle of life than I did two years ago, and God knew exactly what I needed and when I needed it. While it certainly wasn’t easy to see the bigger picture or be aware of God’s plan, I now know the power behind giving up control and relying on Him.
During this time, the song “In His Time” gave me great comfort. Let the words comfort you.
In His time, in His time
He makes all things beautiful, In His time
Lord, please show me every day
As You’re teaching me Your way
That You do just what You say
In Your time
Common TTC Questions
How can I increase my chances of getting pregnant?
- First, start with charting your basal body temperature.
- Get to know your cycles so that you can optimize when to have sex. See the image above for a timing guideline.
- Next, support your reproductive health.
- Start drinking Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, applying Progessence Plus and Clary Sage essential oil right away.
- Eat well and exercise.
How long do you try to conceive before seeing doctor?
- For women under 35, with little to no reproductive health concerns- it is completely normal for trying to conceive to take up to a year. After 12 months of unsuccessful trying, consult a doctor.
- For women over 35, or women with special reproductive needs, go see your doctor after 6 months of trying.
What supplements should I take to increase fertility?
- During my time TTC, I tried TONS of different supplements. Some, I researched/found online. Others were given to me by doctors that we saw to talk about our struggle trying to conceive. None of them worked.
- Each time I told a new medical professional what I had been taking they would laugh and explain that I shouldn’t be taking X, Y, Z. Instead, I should be taking A, B, C. Then, the next person would think A, B, C was weird. That, because of my symptoms, I should only be taking G and F.
- Save yourself time and worry. Stick with herbs and essential oils!
What is the best way to get pregnant quickly?
- I have bad news for you. There is no one way to get pregnant quickly.
- What worked for her, may not work for you. And what worked for you, may not work for her. Even from one pregnancy to the next, there can be differences.
- Seek God in the waiting!
- Use this time to focus on your health and your marriage.
The Last Thing You Need To Know About Trying to Conceive Naturally
While I will not ever try to conceive again (scroll up if you missed why!), I think it is valuable to share with other women the best tips to conceive naturally.
Mama-in-waiting, I see you. I understand your hurts.
Maybe, now is the time to take a step back and reevaluate your plan. Pray about it and decide if it’s time to surrender to God’s plan for you. Ask Him if you should move forward with one of these tips.
And, please, if you need a friend in this season, do not hesitate to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I read each and every email and would love to hear from you.
Tell us your TTC journey in the comments!
(Leave a name if you’d like to be featured in my next post about trying to conceive!)